Raksha Bandhan is around the corner. The markets are flooded with colorful Rakhees of all shapes and sizes. Young girls and women of all ages throng these makeshift stalls and carefully select Rakhees for their brothers. Most brothers live in distant cities or have gone abroad to pursue their careers or academics.

Some sisters are lucky enough to live in the same city as their brother lives. Some brothers make it a point to visit their sisters on Raksha Bandhan whenever it is possible and some sisters do the same thing whenever it is convenient for them. Regardless of the distance, the bond between the brother and the sister is celebrated on this auspicious day.

Here are some questions that always linger in my heart and mind.

Why do we celebrate only the bond between a brother and a sister?

Why do we not celebrate the bond between brothers or the bond between sisters? The exchange of sweets and gifts is nice and always welcome but why do we assume that the brother will protect and take care of the sister at any point of time in her life? Why cannot a sister promise the same thing in return? Why can’t brothers take care of one another during a crisis or why can’t sisters take care of one another if and when such a scenario does arise in our lives?Let us then redefine this bond and give a new meaning to Raksha Bandhan. Let all brothers and sisters reaffirm and refocus on taking care of one another if and when we face a challenging time in our lives. I like the inclusive feeling that this thought creates within all of us. 

Why can we not extend this bond to our brother’s wife, sister’s husband, sister in law’s husband and brother in law’s wife?

My brother’s wife is a part of my maternal family too. My sister’s husband is a part of our family too. My sister in law’s husband is a part of my marital family too and I play the role of the brother’s wife in my sister in law’s life too. 

We may have spent a major part of our childhood lives together. Shared memories, sibling rivalry, the joy of eating and playing and fighting together, the joy of sharing an ice-cream and breaking the last bar of Cadbury’s into six even pieces, nothing can ever replace those memories. We will always cherish them and laugh for hours when we meet at some get together.

But let us learn to love that alien girl in our family too. She too has a brother and a sister tucked away in some corner of the world. She has left her world to create the rest of her life with us and our family members. Let us keenly observe the unshed tears in her eyes on such occasions. Let us make her feel welcome in her own home.Why does an Indian woman often feel that she will always remain an outsider in her married home? Why does she always hesitate to do what she wants? Why does she have to think twice before indulging in buying something for herself even if she is earning a decent salary?

This year on Raksha Bandhan, perhaps we can all do something to redefine these fragile relationships and strengthen them. Let us overcome our tendency of judging people without knowing the reality. Let us try to be more sensitive, more understanding and more accepting of the other women who are a part of our extended families. 

Why do we bicker over materialistic things that are transient?

Despite a double degree, it is difficult to get a decent job. Businesses are buckling under the intense pressure of competition. Money is hard to earn and it is becoming increasingly difficult to sustain ourselves on a day to day basis. 

Instead of finding solutions to the problems that we face, we try to find quick fix solutions to solve all our monetary problems. Property issues, inheritance issues, disputes related to other financial issues somehow end up in bitter court battles that go on for years without getting resolved. And all the siblings somehow get embroiled in this sordid mess. Relationships that were smooth sailing till now, suddenly go completely haywire when money comes into the picture.

Sisters fight with brothers. Brothers fight with brothers. Sisters fight with sisters. Sisters sadly standby and watch their brothers fight among themselves. Any or all of these scenarios can take place in any degree in any home. Money often sows the seeds of discord in relationships.

At the end of our lives, we are not going to carry any of this money to our grave. Yet we need it to stay in business or to simply sustain ourselves. Money may be fleeting but it has its value in everyone’s life. But it can never ever buy us peace of mind or a clear conscience or blissful sleep.

Yet we all will lose hours, days, years and a lifetime of sleep over something so transient.Sadly, cynically we will wait and watch and see if ‘our dear brother’s wife’ ‘invites’ us to ‘tie the rakhi to our brother this year!’Suddenly we want an invitation to tie a rakhi to our own brother. And it needs to come from the brother’s wife.The barriers are well and truly in place now. The precious bond of love loses its meaning and its value now.Until, The women in the family decide to take matters into their hands, Some sister, some wife, some woman out there knows it is time to reaffirm and strengthen that bond between the brothers and sisters again.

She scrubs the silver pooja thali with vigor. Beneath the dull tarnished surface, the gleaming silver slowly starts dazzling. She places a casket of kumkum on the silver pooja thali. She arranges her brother’s favorite sweets on it. She had placed the tiny red Rakhee in front of Krishna’s idol in her room. She seeks Krishna’s blessings as she takes the red Rakhee and places it on the silver plate.

Her husband escorts her to her brother’s place. The door is open and her maternal home seems to be waiting for her. Her brother hugs her in a tight embrace. The tears flow from both faces silently. The sister breaks free from her brother’s hug and embraces the other woman who is quietly standing at a respectful distance. Her brother’s wife, a beautiful woman indeed!

The brother and the brother in law warmly hug each other. No words are needed. No words are exchanged.

Raksha Bandhan is being celebrated in the truest sense here, Maybe our ancestors realized the value of such intangible bond, we are blessed indeed to be born as Indians!!!