Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.
- Hal Borland
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“The first time I got high I almost cried while my roommate tried to convince me I wouldn't be sucked into the toilet if I used it. After I finally did, I asked her to please tell me what the Indian music was that she was listening to 'cause it sounded so majestic and beautiful. It was Sara Bareilles.”
“I was on a holiday weekend with some of my friends and we had been smoking all day. When we were hanging out by the campfire, a fly landed on my arm. I decided his name was Will, and I told him anything I needed to get off my chest. I even gave him a little kiss, but suddenly he took off. I cried and cried and cried, but a couple hours later, Will got back to my arm (in reality it was probably some other fly, but to me it was Will). I was the happiest man alive. One day I will meet him again.”
“I called my mom on the phone and asked her to put my twin sister on the phone. When my mom told me I didn't have a twin, I began a heated argument about how she's inconsiderate and rude for not accepting my sister. As I walked around my friend's house yelling, I stumbled across a mirror on the wall and saw my twin. I broke down crying, apologizing to my reflection for being the most loved out of the two of us. It took me a long-ass time to realize it was a mirror and not my sister, and when I DID realise I didn't have a twin, I cried harder.”
“The very first time I got high, I ended up taking four hits. I sat down and took a bit of a chip, but I couldn't figure out why I was having such a hard time eating it. I tried for a good 30 minutes, until I finally decided that I had gone through a lot with the chip, befriended him, and I couldn't eat him. I started to freak out when my friend's dog came over trying to eat my new chip friend. I'm happy to say the chip survived the dog attack, but he didn't make it through the night in my purse. RIP-chip.”
“Once while I was lying in bed, obviously fucked, I started to turn around to get into a more comfortable position. As I did this, static between the sheets started making tiny electrical arcs that freaked me out. My response was to just move around frantically, which only made the static worse. The end result was me flailing in my bed, convinced that I was constantly being struck by lightning.”
“Smoking in a parked car on the way to a concert, one of my friends got incredibly paranoid and stressed us all out. The stress resulted in another friend barfing upon parking, so I convinced myself that we all had the stomach flu, and felt myself shit my pants. I could feel myself pooping and saw all these people staring at me, but once I got to the bathroom and pulled down my pants, there was absolutely no poop. I'd completely convinced myself I had shit my pants and was totally fine.”
“I was 18, and my buddy and I couldn't smoke at his parents’ house. We walked down an embankment to smoke and not be seen, but the embankment was too steep to climb back up, so we were forced to cross a creek. My buddy made it across, but I was stuck knee-deep in dirt. I looked at him and started laughing, but soon realized that each giggle sunk me a little deeper. He went and got help when I was a little over waist deep and a group of people had to dig me out. The mud ate my shoes.”
“The first time I got high I almost cried while my roommate tried to convince me I wouldn't be sucked into the toilet if I used it. After I finally did, I asked her to please tell me what the Indian music was that she was listening to 'cause it sounded so majestic and beautiful. It was Sara Bareilles.”
“I was on a holiday weekend with some of my friends and we had been smoking all day. When we were hanging out by the campfire, a fly landed on my arm. I decided his name was Will, and I told him anything I needed to get off my chest. I even gave him a little kiss, but suddenly he took off. I cried and cried and cried, but a couple hours later, Will got back to my arm (in reality it was probably some other fly, but to me it was Will). I was the happiest man alive. One day I will meet him again.”
“I called my mom on the phone and asked her to put my twin sister on the phone. When my mom told me I didn't have a twin, I began a heated argument about how she's inconsiderate and rude for not accepting my sister. As I walked around my friend's house yelling, I stumbled across a mirror on the wall and saw my twin. I broke down crying, apologizing to my reflection for being the most loved out of the two of us. It took me a long-ass time to realize it was a mirror and not my sister, and when I DID realise I didn't have a twin, I cried harder.”
“The very first time I got high, I ended up taking four hits. I sat down and took a bit of a chip, but I couldn't figure out why I was having such a hard time eating it. I tried for a good 30 minutes, until I finally decided that I had gone through a lot with the chip, befriended him, and I couldn't eat him. I started to freak out when my friend's dog came over trying to eat my new chip friend. I'm happy to say the chip survived the dog attack, but he didn't make it through the night in my purse. RIP-chip.”
“Once while I was lying in bed, obviously fucked, I started to turn around to get into a more comfortable position. As I did this, static between the sheets started making tiny electrical arcs that freaked me out. My response was to just move around frantically, which only made the static worse. The end result was me flailing in my bed, convinced that I was constantly being struck by lightning.”
“Smoking in a parked car on the way to a concert, one of my friends got incredibly paranoid and stressed us all out. The stress resulted in another friend barfing upon parking, so I convinced myself that we all had the stomach flu, and felt myself shit my pants. I could feel myself pooping and saw all these people staring at me, but once I got to the bathroom and pulled down my pants, there was absolutely no poop. I'd completely convinced myself I had shit my pants and was totally fine.”
“I was 18, and my buddy and I couldn't smoke at his parents’ house. We walked down an embankment to smoke and not be seen, but the embankment was too steep to climb back up, so we were forced to cross a creek. My buddy made it across, but I was stuck knee-deep in dirt. I looked at him and started laughing, but soon realized that each giggle sunk me a little deeper. He went and got help when I was a little over waist deep and a group of people had to dig me out. The mud ate my shoes.”
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