BDSM: How to do it Right and not Creepy

A lot of couples want to explore the kinky side of sex, BDSM but are afraid. If you're a newcomer to kink, there's good reason to hesitate: Going too far, too fast, or even a minor miscommunication with your lover can end up hurting each other or the relationship. But couples who are new also have so much to gain by exploring new parts of their sexuality together.

So in this article, we are going to tell you not the creepy but the right ways to practice BDSM which stands for Bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism.

1.Hair Pulling

Hair pulling as a good way to start getting into kinky play. It’s easy, doesn’t require any toys, and can be as gentle or as rough as you want it to be.

2.Light spanking

Spanking is definitely a common fantasy and starting lightly is a good idea, with the option of ramping it up as you go, of course. Start with hands and then incorporate toys as you and your partner(s) become more experienced.

3.Aggressive language

Miette suggests incorporating aggressive language into your play. Words like “slut,” “whore,” “jerk,” “wimp,” are all good places to start. Name calling, however, should definitely be pre-negotiated, as one slut’s turn on may be another jerk’s major turn off.

4.Tying up with a scarf

A lot of people fantasize about bondage and scarves a good place to start because they’re soft and it’s hard to do real damage with them — unlike, you know, rope and handcuffs. Miette’s main tip is to make sure that two fingers can be slipped between the tie and the skin in order to avoid cutting off circulation, which definitely can do damage.

5.Biting

Biting is a great entry-level way to play, but Miette warns that talking about it beforehand is again essential — and part of that talk should be about marks. Some people are into them and some people really aren’t, so make sure you know where your partner stands before you start chomping down.

6. Subbing/Topping Role Playing

Something as simple as having your arms tied behind your back while performing oral sex can be a really hot entry-level activity for people who are just getting started. Other suggestions might include begging (for sex or punishment) as well as being put in or putting someone in a submissive physical position.

7. Using Pervertables

Pervertables are basically everyday objects that can be transformed into toys. She recommends things like wooden spoons, brushes, spatulas and narrow things like canes, thin belts, and rulers with the metal guide on them if you want to make a mark. The best thing about these toys, according to Miette, is that no one but other kinksters will recognize them for what they are. They’re like a kinky secret signal!

8.Sensation play with a blindfold

Blindfold your partner and then introduce various sensations with various objects. So maybe you run a feather over them or you pinch them or you give them a spank or tease them to the edge of orgasm. The idea is to allow the non-blindfolded person to have control of everything that’s happening and for the blindfolded person to surrender control to them.

9. Check-in after the adventure

Bask in the afterglow and then take the time to check in with one another about how your explorations went. Sometimes it makes sense to check in a few hours after; other times it can wait until the next day. Be sure to ask our favourite question: "What could have made it even better?" This question allows for the kind of feedback that will bring you increasingly satisfying sex every time.

Experimentation is the way to go!!!