How to get over a nasty Break-up

There's no way around it — breaking up straight-up blows. Even if the relationship wasn't the best, splitting up with a partner dramatically alters your day-to-day life and has emotional repercussions that can send you into a tailspin. For some of us, that means hunkering down with a box of tissues and a bottle of wine, praying to feel normal again ASAP. Here are 10 tips on how to get over a nasty break-up.

 

 

1. Cut off all contact

You don't have to cut them out or go silent forever, but if the romantic relationship is really over, let it be over. You're going to need to re-balance and re-enter your own life as a single person. Besides, let's be realistic — unless two people sit down and both agree they want out of a romantic relationship, someone is likely to hurt and longing for more.

 

2. Allow yourself to grieve

The idea that being vulnerable and emotional is a sign of weakness is a fallacy. The truth is that a loss of someone you love (and the future you had envisioned with them) is really hard. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment and move through it at a reasonable pace that feels right to you. 

 

3. Don't drunk text your ex

Write them out and delete them, or send them to a trusted friend and talk about it. You're likely feeling quite a few conflicting emotions and sending them all in real time will only help you lose credibility.

 

4. Focus on what you learned, not on what you lost

People all have the wisdom to share and even the relationships that don't last forever are meaningful. Focus on how you've grown, what you've learned, and what you're grateful for.

 

5. Lean on your friends

You may not want to go to the club and pop bottles, but you can certainly have them over, open a bottle of wine and watch a comedy, which will remind you that you do still have love and laughter in your life.

 

6. Do NOT stalk their social media

You don't have to unfriend them, but you can unfollow them or even tell them that you need to delete them until you're ready to be friends (if ever that happens). You'll likely be tempted to look and "see what they're up to" or go through their photos, which is emotional cutting at best.

7. It's all about self-care

Once, during a breakup (breakdown), I texted my good friend who suggested that I spend a large chunk of time focusing my energy on pampering and loving myself. It sounds silly, but getting a manicure, giving myself a facial and popping in for a massage really did make me feel better.

8. Get back out there

No, you don't have to sign up for a dating website with a quivering chin and tear tracks still fresh on your face, but you do have to make an effort to spend time with people you care about. Go out and have a good time even if you're not ready. Take a trip to do something entirely new. Go to new places and meet new people. Have fun. Be happy that you're alive and free. You will have good days and bad, but take each day and know it will get better as time goes by. Just don't wind up in another undesirable relationship to replace the old. Give yourself the time you need to heal.

9. Look forward to future

Move forward to create your life, and if the relationship can be created again with that person you desire to be with, it will be created from a greater, deeper place and not the same old place that made you break up in the first place. In my point of view, a breakup, especially stemming from an unhealthy relationship or perhaps just one that wasn’t meant to be, always leads to something greater.

 

10. Have a hobby

Don’t just sit back. Get a hobby or practice of something. Don’t waste time on over thinking and start doing something productive. Paint, sing, learn to play an instrument or anything that consumes healthy time and make you happy.