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- Mattie Stepanek
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“We all have been there. At some point in our lives. Frantic last-minute phone calls to cancel social appointments, darting to the warmest secluded corner of a gathering, heart fluttering with anxiety moments into the conversation, feeling exposed while eating publically or just an uneasy aversion or a hesitant step into an appointment. Social anxiety could take the form of a drama queen that loses composure and weeps before an audience or this dark little monster quietly hammering sinister nails into your heart. “
Trust me-Sailing through the teens could be tough. There are so many of those unpredictable rough patches that might not seem serious to adults. The amount of effort it takes to present the first seminar in front of a new class is celestial. What could be more uncomfortable than walking from the classroom to your desk with people staring
“How do I place my hands?”
“At the sides or is it better to hold on to your bag?”
“ Is that ketchup stain still sitting by my collar?”
“ What if I slip and fall?”
“ Wouldn’t that be hilarious?”
“ God that would be a disaster.”
“There he is. Wait...Am I blushing!!!”
These are but an excerpt of those tiny voices that ring inside your head as to make little-hurried steps to your table. Something as simple as this shouldn’t worry most other people. And that’s exactly what makes it embarrassing. It is not easy to open up about something as trivial as this, right? But bear in mind that as you stay silent you are feeding these thousand hungry voices in your head. Is it wrong? No. Is there something you could do about it? Definitely so.
It is not easy, I know. But try finding that one person, could be your friend, your mother, your sister or even your puppy. If living beings are to be deemed unworthy, a letter to dear diary won't hurt. Try phrasing how you feel. It might feel weird but it is necessary for the situation to sink into your mind. Speaking them out loud makes you more alert to your behaviour. Chances are that you might end up making slight alterations in the way you move.
Everyone looks up to someone. The way someone smiles, their lips crooking up slightly; the way someone waves at people, fingers fluttering gracefully or even the way someone props up their glasses. Leaders and speaker are the best ‘someones’. Chuck their life stories, note how they gleam today. They radiate confidence so strong that you cannot help wanting to be them. Compare their behaviour with your notes and try bringing in your own style.
Indeed. The hundred different people around you have a hundred thousand. Not one is going to worry about the way you walk. Not one is armed with mark sheets to grade your speech. The world isn’t going to stand and gape if you slip. Everyone wants to be good in one way or the other. They are more likely to smile and offer you a hand, which you must accept with an easy grin. People think of their lives before hitting their pillows and not about your mannerisms. So calm down and act casual. IN a nice way, the world doesn't revolve around you.
Find what you love. You don’t have to fit into some group. You can create your own role. You could be a stoic storyteller, a mild poet or a melodious hummer or melancholic magician. Bring those out. People love a quaint poem as much as a great dance. It is a story they prefer on a creepy campfire night. Nothing like a nice trick of cards to fill a bus ride back home. All you have to do is, smile and step up. No harm. But first show the world you know stuff for it to give you a stage.
Stop ordering cabs on apps. Get down into the streets and bargain your ride home. Set little experiments- try striking a chat with that grandpa who sells jasmine in the street corner. Make the ice cream man your friend. These conversations, though seemingly lack potential at the beginning, reveal another queer way of living that not many know of. If you are looking for inspiration, you know where to look for. As days progress, one shall find conversations actually pleasant rather than as a burden.
Plan yourself a vacation. Not the ones which have the entire family packed into buses that rush across monuments and park at costly hotels. It could be just you and your heart. Or through some social organisation that brings youths of different interests and cultures together. Somewhere far away. The beginning is definitely the toughest with all those little voices inside your head screaming in protest. Try reining them. Enough is enough. You could be someone better. Put one firm foot forward. Don’t back off. Start from scratch. Try living at a hostel in the local part of the foreign town. You will see yourself pushing your boundaries as you search for shops with the best food or try their indigenous dance move. You get seasoned. You mind ages- like wine, sparkling and exquisite and sweet. At the end of your own personalised voyage, trust me, you will thank yourself.
Thus it is. A little trudge along the lane of life-It is, after all, an intriguing quest in search of who you really are. Bon Voyage!
By Harrinei Kumaravel
Jan 05, 2019
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“We all have been there. At some point in our lives. Frantic last-minute phone calls to cancel social appointments, darting to the warmest secluded corner of a gathering, heart fluttering with anxiety moments into the conversation, feeling exposed while eating publically or just an uneasy aversion or a hesitant step into an appointment. Social anxiety could take the form of a drama queen that loses composure and weeps before an audience or this dark little monster quietly hammering sinister nails into your heart. “
Trust me-Sailing through the teens could be tough. There are so many of those unpredictable rough patches that might not seem serious to adults. The amount of effort it takes to present the first seminar in front of a new class is celestial. What could be more uncomfortable than walking from the classroom to your desk with people staring
“How do I place my hands?”
“At the sides or is it better to hold on to your bag?”
“ Is that ketchup stain still sitting by my collar?”
“ What if I slip and fall?”
“ Wouldn’t that be hilarious?”
“ God that would be a disaster.”
“There he is. Wait...Am I blushing!!!”
These are but an excerpt of those tiny voices that ring inside your head as to make little-hurried steps to your table. Something as simple as this shouldn’t worry most other people. And that’s exactly what makes it embarrassing. It is not easy to open up about something as trivial as this, right? But bear in mind that as you stay silent you are feeding these thousand hungry voices in your head. Is it wrong? No. Is there something you could do about it? Definitely so.
It is not easy, I know. But try finding that one person, could be your friend, your mother, your sister or even your puppy. If living beings are to be deemed unworthy, a letter to dear diary won't hurt. Try phrasing how you feel. It might feel weird but it is necessary for the situation to sink into your mind. Speaking them out loud makes you more alert to your behaviour. Chances are that you might end up making slight alterations in the way you move.
Everyone looks up to someone. The way someone smiles, their lips crooking up slightly; the way someone waves at people, fingers fluttering gracefully or even the way someone props up their glasses. Leaders and speaker are the best ‘someones’. Chuck their life stories, note how they gleam today. They radiate confidence so strong that you cannot help wanting to be them. Compare their behaviour with your notes and try bringing in your own style.
Indeed. The hundred different people around you have a hundred thousand. Not one is going to worry about the way you walk. Not one is armed with mark sheets to grade your speech. The world isn’t going to stand and gape if you slip. Everyone wants to be good in one way or the other. They are more likely to smile and offer you a hand, which you must accept with an easy grin. People think of their lives before hitting their pillows and not about your mannerisms. So calm down and act casual. IN a nice way, the world doesn't revolve around you.
Find what you love. You don’t have to fit into some group. You can create your own role. You could be a stoic storyteller, a mild poet or a melodious hummer or melancholic magician. Bring those out. People love a quaint poem as much as a great dance. It is a story they prefer on a creepy campfire night. Nothing like a nice trick of cards to fill a bus ride back home. All you have to do is, smile and step up. No harm. But first show the world you know stuff for it to give you a stage.
Stop ordering cabs on apps. Get down into the streets and bargain your ride home. Set little experiments- try striking a chat with that grandpa who sells jasmine in the street corner. Make the ice cream man your friend. These conversations, though seemingly lack potential at the beginning, reveal another queer way of living that not many know of. If you are looking for inspiration, you know where to look for. As days progress, one shall find conversations actually pleasant rather than as a burden.
Plan yourself a vacation. Not the ones which have the entire family packed into buses that rush across monuments and park at costly hotels. It could be just you and your heart. Or through some social organisation that brings youths of different interests and cultures together. Somewhere far away. The beginning is definitely the toughest with all those little voices inside your head screaming in protest. Try reining them. Enough is enough. You could be someone better. Put one firm foot forward. Don’t back off. Start from scratch. Try living at a hostel in the local part of the foreign town. You will see yourself pushing your boundaries as you search for shops with the best food or try their indigenous dance move. You get seasoned. You mind ages- like wine, sparkling and exquisite and sweet. At the end of your own personalised voyage, trust me, you will thank yourself.
Thus it is. A little trudge along the lane of life-It is, after all, an intriguing quest in search of who you really are. Bon Voyage!
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