Ajamila-NEAR DEATH By ROHAN

He decided to breathe.

His breath was measured,almost layered-like a psychic who knows your secrets but decides to withhold so as not to hurt.

It gradually revealed itself.

Every moment he took the breath in,God unclothed its existence.

Every moment he took the breath out,God dressed back to its mystery.

He affirmed,'I am breath.I am Life.I am God.'Not realising with every breath,life left him.

He breathed his last.

'Wait'Wait,Am I dead?'

He found no one around.He thought of the cold he was getting.The next instant,he found himself in the freezing Alps.'This must be Hell.' 

He thought of a warm place.He found himself in the scorching heat in the deserts of Sahar.'This is definitely Hell'.

He found his ideas manifesting instantly.

Born a Brahmin in the holy city of Kanya Kubja, righteousness embodied him.He conducted severe austerities right through his life.Moderation in speech and senses,Dharma was his second name.But one sin is all it took to sprout a forest of misdeeds.His bank of austerities left him when he fell into the charms of a prostitute.No means of supporting the six kids they eventually had,he sinned further to support his new found family.Robberies, corruption became his second nature.

He became so embroiled in Maya that the Lord of Death shook him when his time was up. ‘NARAYANA!',he yelled the name of his youngest and his most beloved son.His howls echoed into eternities of the Created and Uncreated Universes.

And he  left the body.

He thought of his beloved wife.

He was immeditely transported  back to the time he was newly wedded at Twenty One.Rosmary garlands,virgin pair of sandals embalmed him.His virile manhood wanted to express itself,but life had other ideas.

He saw his wife being grateful that death chose him soon.

He thought of his Brahminical aausterities for which he gave his life to.Turned out life had moved on,a little too soon for his liking.

He thought of the wealth he accumulated by illiicit means.There wasn't any of it left,anymore.His illegitimate sons quarrelled over it and ultimately misused it.

He thought of his boyhood friends.The friends were dealing with lives of their own to spare a few moments over his death.

He thought of the prostitute he left everything for and gave his life to.She was celebrating the new acquisition of her share of his wealth earned through unfair means.

He thought of all his kids.None cared.

He thought of Narayana,his youngest and the most loved son whose name he yelled out before leaving his body.None cared.

He yelled out to anyone who could save him from hell.There was nothing anyone could do.He had no Karmic balance to save him.Hell was the only destination for his soul.

Desperation brought out the ray of hope in all the dark.

He prayed.He prayed hard.

'You have no escape from hell.You have spent all your time in bhog-making merry.Now is the time for Rog-to pay the price.'Demon-like Daityas spoke thus to him.

Just then,he heard the voice of the Devtas.

'We have been sent by the CREATOR of the Universe.We are here to welcome you to our kingdom.'

Surprise spoke to him, 'But I don't have any karmic merit left to take me to heaven.'

'Oh,You do.'The Devtas answered his thoughts.

'You named your Son after the CREATOR.'

'Our guidelines state every utterance of the NAME absolves all sins and creates merit for a place in the House of God.

'No,he is ours.'The Daityas said.'He did not utter the NAME intending to remember the CREATOR.He uttered the name of his son which accidentally also happens to be the name of the CREATOR.'

'There are no accident!'Said the Devtas,with a smile.

'Our CREATOR wanted to let him walk his Path.He wanted him to walk the path of sin,to understand the Path of Truth.'

And thus the Grand Debate of Dharma and Adharma started..between the Devtas and the Daityas

******

CREATOR-You expressed a desire to meet me.

Ajamila-I wanted to read you some lines I wrote last night.              

                    Failure exists for it to be a success.

                    Darkness exists for light to express.

                    Crucifixion exists for it to resurrect.

                    Death exists for it to be reborn.

CREATOR-Not bad.Without rhyme and meter though.But  it is good nevertheless.It expresses hope.

Ajamila-And hope is good.

CREATOR-Yes,hope is good.It is human.It is Me.

Ajamila-(with a glint in his eyes)Hey,remember that poem by Tagore,'Where the Mind is without Fear.And the Head is held high.' That expresses hope.

CREATOR-And courage.

Ajamila- Yes,and courage.

NARAYANA,I apologize for all the sins I committed in life.I don't know what got into me.I am not like that.I am not that.

CREATOR- (Inquisitively)And what are you?

Ajamila- (Smirks)Funny you asked.Noone cares who is me.

I am the boy who never wished to grow up.And yet,I am the same boy who wanted to grow up and serve his mother.I am the Brahmin who wanted to serve his Shastra.I am the man who wants to stay inside a room for all life,as he is afraid of the world.Yet am the man who wants to touch the skies,'cause he is a Hero.I am the man who knew righteousness.Yet am the man who committed the most unrighteousness Acts.I am the man who named his most beloved son after my  God, Narayana.Yet am the same Man who did not once think of You,when I was sinning my way to glory.

I am virtue.

I am sin.

I am human.

CREATOR-(With Empathy)You speak well!

Ajamila-All YOUR GRACE,Sir!

CREATOR-You perfectly sounded like a human.

Ajamila-I was a human,just recently.

CREATOR-You also sounded like  a tortured Artist!

Ajamila- Death makes one sort of an Artist,a very bad one though.

CREATOR- I see!

Ajamila- Oh,the Great All Knowing One-what is Adharma and what is Dharma?

CREATOR- (Smiling)Glad you asked.I thought you guys would never ask ME!

Ajamila-Now will you please care to answer?

CREATOR- Will you please care to wait?

Ajamila- Sure,Sir.

CREATOR-'paritranaya sadhunam vinasaya ca duskrtam dharma-samsthapanarthaya sambhavami yuge yuge'.

Ajamila-Can you take light on me,Sir?

CREATOR-So long as you are conforming to your essential nature,you are acting in Dharma. Your ability to endure impossible situations is Dharma.The acceptance of flaws and seeking Forgiveness is Dharma.The drive to be the best version of yourself is Dharma. In order that you fulfil your role in the divine play you must behave within your Dharma. That is, you ought to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way, and for the right reason. By this you attain Dharma.

Ajamila-So all that I did in life was Dharma?!

CREATOR- Do you really want me to answer that?

Ajamila-Nope.

And what is Adharma?

CREATOR- Anything the Conscience doesn't allow is Adharma. Conscience is MY presence in you.

Ajamila- I am an Adharmi then?

CREATOR-You answered your own questions.

Ajamila-Why did you save me then?Inspite of me calling out my son and not YOU, at the moment of Death?

CREATOR- My Son has said during the Biblical times,

'Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and He will have mercy upon him; for He will abundantly pardon'.

Ajamila-You are quoting the Bible now,huh?

CREATOR-Of course,It was written by ME.

Inspite of all your so-called sins,you had repentance in your heart.I was still alive in you.

Besides,if I don't forgive my sons, who else will?

Ajamila-So you have forgiven me?

CREATOR-Will you sin again?

Ajamila-(getting irritated)What kind of a moronic question is that?I thought you were The CREATOR.The All-Knowing.You are supposed to be smart and wise.

CREATOR- You haven't answered my question.

Ajamila-(Upscaled in rage)Who the hell you think You are to ask me that?My first impression of you was right.You are nothing but a pretentious, moronic prick wanting to prove her greatness to the world.But you know something, I am not allowing you to do that.I can sin as much as I want.I will then seek Your Forgiveness!

And with it, the follies of Humanity continued...