When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
- Lao Tzu
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It was 5 in the morning and like every other day alarm started to ring. Saayesha woke up, and sat on the bed. She looked at the other side, her husband Aadil was still sleeping. “How cute he looks while sleeping”, she thought. He was wearing his blue shirt, her favorite.
It has been two months since they are married and just a week when they had shifted to the city. Aadil met Saayesha online on a social site an year back. They met at a coffee shop for the first time. She was dressed in a white dress while he wore a blue shirt, the one which became her favorite since then.
She kissed him on his cheeks. He was asleep but she could see a small downward parabolic curve of his lips. She got down, bathed and got ready. Aadil was still asleep. She went closer to him, sprinkled some water on his face from her wet hair and again kissed him. This time she knew he was awake since he smiled ear to ear. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to open them. “good morning honey” she wished him and sat next to the bed.
“mownin” he barely said morning and extending his arms forward he hugged her tightly.
“wake up, it’s already 6:15. You will get late otherwise” she noticed him sleeping once again.
“Aadil” she called him softly. He smiled but didn’t react. She called him again, he didn’t wake up. She raised the tone of her voice but still he didn’t react. Finally she went closer to his ear and shouted “Aadil”, “ha-ha kya hua” he woke up with a jerk and sat straight on the bed.
There she rolled on the floor laughing watching his worried face. “get ready fast. Breakfast will be ready in 10”
“where is the key of my wardrobe Saayu?” he shouted from the bathroom.
“don’t touch it" she ran inside.
“I mean, I have already ironed your shirt. See” she pointed at the white shirt lying on the table.
*White shirt with some stains on it.* He smiled and looked at her.
“what?” she asked
He came closer to her, held her tight and pressed his lips against her,harder.
Before leaving the room, Saayesha turned to the other side, looked at the wardrobe again.
“what?” Aadil asked.
“uhmm.. nothing” she smiled and went outside...
“breakfast is ready” Saayesha called Aadil from the kitchen.
He didn’t reply. She went up. Aadil was struggling with his tie.
”I have told you many times, this is not the way of making the knot. Come let me teach you once again.”
She held his tie while he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. He kissed her on the forehead while she kept blushing. She then made him wear his coat and then they both came down to the dining table.
There also Aadil was busy reading the newspaper while Saayesha fed him with her own hands. Adil too picked up the spoon once or twice and made her eat the cereal.
“I am getting late. Get my phone fast” Adil hurriedly packed his bag.
“here” she handed him the phone.
He hugged her and then they kissed for few seconds and Aadil ran out since he was getting late. “Take care and come back soon. Will be waiting” she waved her hand.
When he left, Saayesha closed the door and as she turned back, she was got smacked.
With her eyes widely open , shocked, she went near the wall on the other side of the room where a frame was hung with a garland over it.
It was Aadil’s photo inside the frame.
Saayesha couldn’t believe what she saw.
If Aadil was dead , then who was he?
A ghost ?....
Saayesha ran back to her room. She saw the same blue shirt lying on the bed. She picked it up, hugged it and cried. She looked at the hanger on the dressing table where his coat was hung and tie was hanging inside. The white shirt with blood stains was hanging on the other side. With tears in her eyes she went closer to that white shirt, touched it and then smiled. she stood there for a while and remembered the last time when he wore this shirt three days ago.
“baby wear this blue shirt”
“what is with you and this shirt. I am not going to wear it at all” Aadil threw that blue shirt on the bed and wore a white shirt. Saayesha got upset.
He held Saayesha’s hand , kissed her and then they left for the party.
There at the party Aadil was talking to his friends and Saayesha was standing next to him.
“You look great” kanika complimented him.
“thanks, you look good too”
“white suits you. I guess you should wear white more often.”
“ahh!. Since now you have said this, I will wear white every day. I won’t even touch any other color” he smirked and then everybody started laughing.
Saayesha and Aadil got into a huge fight.
“baby, we were joking. Why would I wear white shirt every day? And for her? Never.”
He tried to convince Saayesha that everything that happened before at the party was all casual and nothing serious but Saayesha was still upset.
She stood silently near the window. Aadil hugged her from behind, kissed her on her cheeks . “I love you baby” he said.
Saayesha turned back, looked straight into his eyes. “It’s okay. I love you too. And don’t worry, I won’t even let you wear this white shirt again” she smirked.
Aadil laughed and hugged her.
Tears rolled down her cheeks . she missed him. She cried and then suddenly she started laughing. She laughed, laughed and laughed. She took that shirt from the hanger, folded it and went to the wardrobe.
There were some stains on the floor, red blood stains. She opened the door of the closet and Aadil’s dead body fell out. She bent down, held his hand and kissed him.
She then draped the blue shirt around his body..
Saayesha hugged him back. He was still wearing that white shirt.
She hugged him tight and then slit his throat with a knife. She stabbed the knife into his chest thrice. Aadil fell down in the pool of blood.
Saayesha kept looking at his body. Before dying he was trying to say something but words couldn’t come out from his mouth.
“I told you, I won’t ever let you wear this white shirt again.”
She kissed him, dragged his body and hid it in the closet. **present day** Saayesha smiled and again pushed the body back in the wardrobe. She angrily threw the white shirt in the upper shelf and some papers fell on the floor.
Those were Saayesha’s medical report. She was not mentally stable She was a psycho. Saayesha had never told Aadil about her mental disorder.
Doctors had clearly mentioned on the report that it was not safe to live with her anymore because of her mental illness. The other day she faked Aadil’s signature on a paper stating that he takes all the responsibility of taking care of her and so doctors should allow him to take her back home. But Aadil was totally unaware of it.
It was not because she was jealous of the other girl but the moment he said 'no' to her for wearing the blue shirt, she lost her mind and decided to kill him .
Now he could never say no to her and she can make him wear that shirt anytime she wanted.
And since two days she has been repeating all these activities of waking him up, feeding him breakfast, even though he was not there.
During night she again took that blue shirt from his body and hugged it while sleeping.
“Good morning” she again woke him up with a kiss while he smiled back at her.
For her it was Aadil sleeping next to her but in reality it was just his blue shirt that was laying there on the other side of the bed.
She was obsessed, not with Aadil but his blue shirt.