Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.
- Hal Borland
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It was 22nd of April 2017, a very unexpected day which shook away my happiness forever. My vacations were going on and I woke by 9. I was in a drowsy mood, I was having a casual conversation with him. The weather was humid and unpleasant! That day was strange, I opened my diary in the morning which generally never happens, I wrote my favourite song MEI JAHA RAHU and mentioned date on the top "22nd April" I was in no mood of taking bath but yet i did.Besides my mom and dad had a fight and they refused conversing. He woke up and went for bath as usual he was screaming for towel I didn't go because I thought my mom will give ßut as he was screaming continuosly I went and gave him towel I called my mom but she was missing , i remember every second of that day.
I was gossiping with my friend Pratiksha, dad interrupted looking into the mirror "Mere aakh swell hogye h kya Mansi? "
Nahi zyada soya tu isliye thoda sa I replied ..
he dressed, up took a newspaper, I made tea for him and after that he went outside . Everything was calm till then. My mom came. It was around 3 in the afternoon "khana khane bula , kitna time hogya" she said . I called dad so many times he refused to come , after that I slept (was going to classes)" in my dreams" suddenly I woke up and it was 6
I was feeling too dizzy yet I got ready for classes and generally dad was suppose to drop me but I didn't asked him that day I don't know why this happened . I went to bustop was waiting for half an hour bus didn't arrive i was so confused between heart and brain .. as heart was saying go home ,brain was saying no you have to go for attendance ! Finally 7.30 I opened the door and saw friends sir and my two close friends then i saw everyone so interested in physics.
Strange thing was they two who use to keep place for me but sat with another one I simply ignored and sat on first bench basically I never use to pay that much attention but that day thoughts arrived in my mind CET ache marks se clear karna hai padhna hai and all . Somewhere I was scared I still remember the feeling at that moment my heart was popping notifications ghar chal ghar chal ! After spending 2 hours in class I moved for home .As I was walking near highway 60 seconds of signal .A very known bike appeared in traffic "Omi " I screamed ,my bestfriend not bestfriend my soul one he met after 2 months as we were not in touch after vacations we had dog fights after 10 mins of conversation I moved out . I went home and bunch of people were at my door they were staring at me I rushed inside and saw my younger brother doing homework and talking to people . They said he is not well mom and others took him to hospital , they told me to take care of my brother . It was quite normal for me as the way they said ßut I was scared ßut I couldn't drop my emotions out because my younger brother was with me he said bhuk lagi hai I made Maggie for him and went down we had wine shop exactly below my house . As i stepped inside "umesh" what happened to him I asked . Nothing ,he fell down suddenly and became unconscious he replied .No need to worry you go up and be calm he said politely * Tring Tring ! And the phone rang .. his number appeared on my screen , with a smile on my face I received the call . "Hello Mansi pack bags, we have to move Hyderabad urgently" my grandfather said in a deep voice , for what I questioned .
He is serious he can't be medicated here we have to move immediately .
My body started shivering and hands joined for prayers .. god please " use kuch nahi hona chahiye we need him " these sentences continuosly running through my lips
As I was packing bags with tears in my eyes again call arrived " hello , what you are doing be quick take Aadhar card pan card and all other necessary documents he said "
I am not getting his Aadhar card and trouser I replied ,Let it be his things are not needed any more , my grandfather cried . The moment I heard this thoughts of graveyard , heaven etc hit my mind.. I called my friend Omi and asked him to quickly run to hospital and have a look. Is everything fine,"Okay I am going".. he went
After I packed bags and locked doors, my neighbours gathered around with suspecious eyes.Omi calling .. appeared on my screen "hello Mansi you stay there I am coming to pick up you and lucky" (my brother) he said . "What happened tell me" I murmured . He was silent for a while. "hello, hello tell me what happened" , I questioned.. I was informed nothing. "I am coming,wait" he said .. as we were conversing , my grandfather and his friend arrived in a cab .."Hello I am coming", I told Omi . "With whom?" he questioned. Dad sent his freind with a cab and my grandfather came. He suddenly cut the call. I imagined if my words were like swords to him.I sat with my younger brother and luggages bags in cab , they were crying and looking at our faces . Tears running through my cheeks i hugged my brother and said "you don't worry nothing has happened . As I entered the porch I saw 5 to 6 cars, bikes, and 100's of people standing there .. as he is a great man and is a famous personality .. this is all normal I thought . I moved 3 4 steps ahead I saw Omi standing with his friends in corner and staring at me , I saw my mom in a very unconscious state lying on floor like she lost everything in life . I got shocked as the people whom I didnt want to see ever who kept my family in trouble where crying on my mom's shoulder ! The moment I stood in front of my mom she just gave me a sign to go inside and I ran inside the ward and ...... I saw him
"Dad" The love of my life , was lying on a bed with white bedsheet and face covered with white cloth ..I just can't put my emotions on paper I just can't explain my pain through words , it was totally unbelievable I never thought I would see my dad in such painful way ,The only thing that was running through my mind was i can't see him anymore I can't call anyone dady now .. with whom I'll sing, with whom I'll share, where I'll hide , etc . It was my dad's final journey I stopped thinking everything for a while ... I wanted my dad to be alive whatever the situation maybe. The moment I encountered the fact that dad was nomore,I was shattered. The feeling was horrifying. For a moment everything else was blur to me except my grieves.Later we took him into ambulance to Hyderabad .The sound of ambulance was so heart breaking to me, the sound of weep, that just kept depressing me. The journey seemed to be too long than it was as if the time stopped.. Below my seat was my dad's body ripped by white clothes all covered with big ice cubes. The moment we stepped out of the ambulance, the white cloth turned off his face. The face seemed exactly same to me that I saw few hours back. My dad had the same glory and that made it impossible to me to address the fact that it's a dead body. Nobody still knows what so deadly killed a seven inches tall and muscular man.
I remember how my dad used to act crazy about cold water like the Bisleri bottle needs to be 24/7 cold as ice but who knew the last journey he took was all between cold water and ice cubes. After few ritulas we went to kindle the body. I watched my father scorching into ashes,the most difficult part of my life. His demise changed my and my mother's life on a whole.The time kept slipping away swiftly and my attention towards the worst part started diverting. Sooner, I realised that no one can hold on to something for an entire life so why not move on. My life started changing.Things were different after a year. My mother got a job, things started settling down. Yet not at peace but our life semeed better now. Memories of dad still haunt me but I accepted the reality gradually.When I still pen my diary I pen down all the good memories, the bond I and my dad shared. It was definitely a lot more than just a daughter and a father. We're best of buddies. He was the only one I could share anything and would feel no awkwardness. I miss him, a father and friend. The only goal of my life is to be something more than my dreams, to be something my dad wanted. I just keep stepping forward each day to a perfect daughter.
But....the peace I look for is yet to be discovered.
It was 22nd of April 2017, a very unexpected day which shook away my happiness forever. My vacations were going on and I woke by 9. I was in a drowsy mood, I was having a casual conversation with him. The weather was humid and unpleasant! That day was strange, I opened my diary in the morning which generally never happens, I wrote my favourite song MEI JAHA RAHU and mentioned date on the top "22nd April" I was in no mood of taking bath but yet i did.Besides my mom and dad had a fight and they refused conversing. He woke up and went for bath as usual he was screaming for towel I didn't go because I thought my mom will give ßut as he was screaming continuosly I went and gave him towel I called my mom but she was missing , i remember every second of that day.
I was gossiping with my friend Pratiksha, dad interrupted looking into the mirror "Mere aakh swell hogye h kya Mansi? "
Nahi zyada soya tu isliye thoda sa I replied ..
he dressed, up took a newspaper, I made tea for him and after that he went outside . Everything was calm till then. My mom came. It was around 3 in the afternoon "khana khane bula , kitna time hogya" she said . I called dad so many times he refused to come , after that I slept (was going to classes)" in my dreams" suddenly I woke up and it was 6
I was feeling too dizzy yet I got ready for classes and generally dad was suppose to drop me but I didn't asked him that day I don't know why this happened . I went to bustop was waiting for half an hour bus didn't arrive i was so confused between heart and brain .. as heart was saying go home ,brain was saying no you have to go for attendance ! Finally 7.30 I opened the door and saw friends sir and my two close friends then i saw everyone so interested in physics.
Strange thing was they two who use to keep place for me but sat with another one I simply ignored and sat on first bench basically I never use to pay that much attention but that day thoughts arrived in my mind CET ache marks se clear karna hai padhna hai and all . Somewhere I was scared I still remember the feeling at that moment my heart was popping notifications ghar chal ghar chal ! After spending 2 hours in class I moved for home .As I was walking near highway 60 seconds of signal .A very known bike appeared in traffic "Omi " I screamed ,my bestfriend not bestfriend my soul one he met after 2 months as we were not in touch after vacations we had dog fights after 10 mins of conversation I moved out . I went home and bunch of people were at my door they were staring at me I rushed inside and saw my younger brother doing homework and talking to people . They said he is not well mom and others took him to hospital , they told me to take care of my brother . It was quite normal for me as the way they said ßut I was scared ßut I couldn't drop my emotions out because my younger brother was with me he said bhuk lagi hai I made Maggie for him and went down we had wine shop exactly below my house . As i stepped inside "umesh" what happened to him I asked . Nothing ,he fell down suddenly and became unconscious he replied .No need to worry you go up and be calm he said politely * Tring Tring ! And the phone rang .. his number appeared on my screen , with a smile on my face I received the call . "Hello Mansi pack bags, we have to move Hyderabad urgently" my grandfather said in a deep voice , for what I questioned .
He is serious he can't be medicated here we have to move immediately .
My body started shivering and hands joined for prayers .. god please " use kuch nahi hona chahiye we need him " these sentences continuosly running through my lips
As I was packing bags with tears in my eyes again call arrived " hello , what you are doing be quick take Aadhar card pan card and all other necessary documents he said "
I am not getting his Aadhar card and trouser I replied ,Let it be his things are not needed any more , my grandfather cried . The moment I heard this thoughts of graveyard , heaven etc hit my mind.. I called my friend Omi and asked him to quickly run to hospital and have a look. Is everything fine,"Okay I am going".. he went
After I packed bags and locked doors, my neighbours gathered around with suspecious eyes.Omi calling .. appeared on my screen "hello Mansi you stay there I am coming to pick up you and lucky" (my brother) he said . "What happened tell me" I murmured . He was silent for a while. "hello, hello tell me what happened" , I questioned.. I was informed nothing. "I am coming,wait" he said .. as we were conversing , my grandfather and his friend arrived in a cab .."Hello I am coming", I told Omi . "With whom?" he questioned. Dad sent his freind with a cab and my grandfather came. He suddenly cut the call. I imagined if my words were like swords to him.I sat with my younger brother and luggages bags in cab , they were crying and looking at our faces . Tears running through my cheeks i hugged my brother and said "you don't worry nothing has happened . As I entered the porch I saw 5 to 6 cars, bikes, and 100's of people standing there .. as he is a great man and is a famous personality .. this is all normal I thought . I moved 3 4 steps ahead I saw Omi standing with his friends in corner and staring at me , I saw my mom in a very unconscious state lying on floor like she lost everything in life . I got shocked as the people whom I didnt want to see ever who kept my family in trouble where crying on my mom's shoulder ! The moment I stood in front of my mom she just gave me a sign to go inside and I ran inside the ward and ...... I saw him
"Dad" The love of my life , was lying on a bed with white bedsheet and face covered with white cloth ..I just can't put my emotions on paper I just can't explain my pain through words , it was totally unbelievable I never thought I would see my dad in such painful way ,The only thing that was running through my mind was i can't see him anymore I can't call anyone dady now .. with whom I'll sing, with whom I'll share, where I'll hide , etc . It was my dad's final journey I stopped thinking everything for a while ... I wanted my dad to be alive whatever the situation maybe. The moment I encountered the fact that dad was nomore,I was shattered. The feeling was horrifying. For a moment everything else was blur to me except my grieves.Later we took him into ambulance to Hyderabad .The sound of ambulance was so heart breaking to me, the sound of weep, that just kept depressing me. The journey seemed to be too long than it was as if the time stopped.. Below my seat was my dad's body ripped by white clothes all covered with big ice cubes. The moment we stepped out of the ambulance, the white cloth turned off his face. The face seemed exactly same to me that I saw few hours back. My dad had the same glory and that made it impossible to me to address the fact that it's a dead body. Nobody still knows what so deadly killed a seven inches tall and muscular man.
I remember how my dad used to act crazy about cold water like the Bisleri bottle needs to be 24/7 cold as ice but who knew the last journey he took was all between cold water and ice cubes. After few ritulas we went to kindle the body. I watched my father scorching into ashes,the most difficult part of my life. His demise changed my and my mother's life on a whole.The time kept slipping away swiftly and my attention towards the worst part started diverting. Sooner, I realised that no one can hold on to something for an entire life so why not move on. My life started changing.Things were different after a year. My mother got a job, things started settling down. Yet not at peace but our life semeed better now. Memories of dad still haunt me but I accepted the reality gradually.When I still pen my diary I pen down all the good memories, the bond I and my dad shared. It was definitely a lot more than just a daughter and a father. We're best of buddies. He was the only one I could share anything and would feel no awkwardness. I miss him, a father and friend. The only goal of my life is to be something more than my dreams, to be something my dad wanted. I just keep stepping forward each day to a perfect daughter.
But....the peace I look for is yet to be discovered.
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